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I just don't like giving ultimatums. It can also lead to resentment and hence the "you're controlling" thrown in your face. Continuing to ignore your concerns is the rejection. I think after letting the other person know numerous times about how how much their actions effect the relationship in such a negative way should be enough for them to decide without having to use threats. To me, threats are controlling and can lead to people doing something irrationally. When you communicate your needs and your needs aren't being met, then YOU decide enough is enough to move on. I've just learned over time that when you try to force someone to do something they are showing you they don't want to do, they more than likely do it again and the other thing is that you are constantly wondering (as in this case) if the other person has truly stopped or have they found other ways to continue to do it, but in a more secretive way..